Reclaiming and rebuilding life After trauma
Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
Trauma is not defined solely by what happened to you, but by how your nervous system and brain responded when you felt overwhelmed, unsafe, or powerless. These responses—whether emotional, physical, or psychological—are the body and mind’s natural ways of coping with experiences that were too much, too sudden, or too prolonged. Trauma may result from a single distressing incident or from repeated exposure over time, and it can affect every aspect of life, including relationships, physical health, memory, concentration, sleep, and sense of self-worth.
You may have experienced:
- Childhood neglect or abuse
- Domestic violence or sexual assault
- Displacement, war, or persecution
- Medical trauma or serious accidents
- Systemic oppression, racism, or homophobia
- Betrayal, abandonment, or emotional invalidation
- Bullying, threats to life, or witnessing tragic or shocking events
These experiences can have a lasting impact—shaping how you see yourself, others, and the world around you. In some cases, trauma may lead to specific difficulties such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex PTSD (CPTSD). However, even without a formal diagnosis, the effects of trauma are valid and deserving of care.
Common Responses to Trauma
Trauma can leave lasting marks on both the mind and body. Everyone responds differently, but common symptoms include:
- Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories
- Emotional numbness or avoidance
- Chronic anxiety, panic, or hypervigilance
- Shame, guilt, or self-blame
- Sudden anger, irritability, or emotional outbursts
- Dissociation or feeling disconnected from reality
- Difficulty forming or trusting relationships
- Low self-esteem, a deep sense of ‘brokenness’ or loss of self
- Rumination and self-criticism
Many people also struggle with feelings of guilt or shame, especially if the trauma was interpersonal (e.g. abuse, betrayal, or humiliation). You might feel that you “should be over it by now,” or blame yourself for how you coped. These feelings are common and they are often rooted in trauma itself, not in truth.
Why You Might Feel Stuck
Healing from trauma is not about forgetting what happened, but about reclaiming your life in the present. Yet many people feel stuck—as though the past keeps playing out in their thoughts, reactions, or relationships.
This isn’t a failure or a weakness. It’s often linked to how trauma affects the brain’s memory and threat systems. During overwhelming events, the brain can struggle to process information in a coherent, narrative way. Instead, memories may become fragmented, sensory-based, or stored without a clear sense of time or safety. That’s why you might feel like the trauma is still happening—even years later.
Your reactions are not irrational. They’re your nervous system doing its best to keep you safe, even if those strategies no longer serve you. With the right support, it is possible to process those memories in a more integrated way and help your body and mind feel grounded in the here and now.
Why it's Not Your Fault
Many people carry a deep, private sense that what happened to them was their fault or that they should have coped better. But trauma is not something you chose. It’s something that happened to you, often when you were powerless to protect yourself or lacked the support you needed.
Blame, guilt, and shame are often misplaced. They are internalised survival strategies, attempts to make sense of the senseless. In therapy, we work together to gently untangle these beliefs and move towards greater self-compassion and understanding.
My Approach to Trauma Therapy
As a BABCP-accredited Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist, I offer a safe, collaborative, and non-judgemental space where you can begin to make sense of your experiences at a pace that feels manageable.
My trauma-focused approach integrates a range of evidence-based models, including:
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for PTSD (CBT-TF) – recommended by NICE for the treatment of PTSD
- Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET) – particularly suited for multiple or prolonged traumas
- Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) – supporting those who struggle with shame, guilt, or self-criticism
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) – for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and grounding
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – to help you move towards a more meaningful, values-based life
- Stabilisation techniques and body-based awareness – to build safety and reduce overwhelm before processing trauma
Every person’s experience is different. Some clients need help grounding in the present before approaching trauma memories. Others are ready to begin working on intrusive images or flashbacks. Our work is guided by your needs, strengths, and readiness.
What to Expect in Therapy
In our work together, we will:
- Create a foundation of safety, trust, and emotional regulation
- Understand how trauma has affected your brain, body, and relationships
- Develop tools to manage flashbacks, nightmares, and intense emotions
- Work with the ‘inner critic’ and nurture a more compassionate voice
- Gently process traumatic memories, without being re-traumatised
- Rebuild confidence, boundaries, and relational safety
- Explore the impact of trauma on identity, worth, and meaning
- Move towards a life shaped more by choice than by fear or avoidance
You do not need to “go back into” trauma to heal. Therapy is not about reliving what happened—it’s about processing what still lives inside you and finding safe, manageable ways forward.
Seeking Support
If you are living with the after-effects of trauma, please know that you are not alone—and that recovery is possible. You don’t need to be “in crisis” to reach out. You may simply want to feel more like yourself again, to connect more deeply with others, or to stop living in the shadow of what happened.
I offer therapy in-person at Peckham Levels, London and online via secure video. All sessions are confidential, inclusive, and tailored to your unique experiences and needs.
You are not broken. Your reactions make sense. And with the right support, healing is possible.
Feel free to get in touch for a free 30-minute consultation to explore whether therapy might be right for you.